A short story by Daryn Tsuji

The Choice

Amy nervously looked around the room as she unconsciously wrung her hands.  The smoke hung thickly in the air as the piano notes bounced off the tin ceiling.  Voices spoke in hushed tones as the woman in the sparkling dress sang jazz classics one after the other.

Amy looked down at the ice cube floating in her glass.  It seemed like only yesterday that she was given the chance of a lifetime.  It was like a dream come true.

The decision was a difficult one and Amy had been thinking of nothing else since the opportunity was presented to her.  She did not know anything about the man who offered it to her but she was wary of him, not quite trusting him but not disbelieving altogether either. 

She had thought of the many different choices that she had made through her life, dropping out of high school, moving out west when she was only seventeen, even her decision to finally go back to college and break up with her boyfriend.  All seemed like such obvious choices at the time but looking back they represented such big forks in her life that she could only imagine what might have been had she gone down the other road.

For a long while she had agonized over which of the many forks in her life she should choose to have unmade and almost every day she changed her mind.  How was she supposed to make such a big decision in only seven days?  In the end, the decision was simpler than she thought it would be.

Now, here she was sitting in a jazz bar in a part of town that she clearly didn’t belong, waiting for a creepy old man she only half trusted to glide in and give her the opportunity of a lifetime.

The time for considering all that was over though, He had just walked into the room and as his eyes slid from person to person Amy shuddered as she waited for his eyes to settle on her.  There was something in his eyes that made her want to look away and look at something else, anything else.

Finally spotting her the man walked across the room and settled himself into the chair across from her. 

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“Good Evening Amy” he said “how are you tonight?”

“I’m fine” she replied hastily, “Can we just get to it?”

“Of course” he replied “What is your decision?  What decision do you regret so much in your life that you would like to go back and change?”

Finding courage now that the moment had come, Amy sat up a little straighter and said “When you first came to me with this offer, I was sure that I would have no trouble picking a moment in my life when I made a decision that I regretted.” She continued 

“But after thinking about all the decisions that I’ve regretted, I’ve decided that since I have no way of really knowing what would have happened if I made the other choice, I am not willing to risk the life that I know today for something so unknown as to go down a different path than the one I have already taken.”

The man stared at Amy for a moment and she was afraid for just a moment that he was going to be angry.  But then he smiled a great toothy grin, one that was honest and one that put her somewhat more at ease.

“In the many years I have been granting people this opportunity, I have seen very few people who have refused the chance to change their path; and I have seen even fewer people who were truly happier once they had.  I am happy for you because you have stopped living in your past and are now living for your future.  That is the best choice you could have made.”

With that, he vanished in a puff of blue smoke leaving a bewildered and very relieved Amy sitting at the table.  She picked up her drink, drained it, and set the glass carefully back on the table before picking up her jacket and walking purposefully out the door.

It’s been awhle since I posted, the time flies so quickly!  With school out, I’m managing with all three of the kids home and time has really sped up.  Careening from one thing to the next has left me out of breath and somedays I can’t remember the day of the week.

Watched a show about Michael J. Fox a few days ago.  It was really amazing to see that he is in a pretty great frame of mind given his 20 years of Parkinson’s disease.  My grandfather had Parkinson’s although I can’t remember seeing him with the tremors or the constant movement that seems to be a consequence of the disease.  Michael’s optimism is admirable, I wish I was an optimist like him.  I think I tend to the pessimistic side.
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The other comment I wanted to make is about a movie called Supersize Me.  Wow.  I never would have thought that a month of fast food could have such an outwardly obvious impact on someone.  Watch it if you can, it is an eye opener.

Many years ago, when I was much younger, I heard the saying “You have to have money to make money.”  I didn’t understand the full meaning of that saying until I started investing in the stock market.

I originally started investing in the stock market using a little extra cash I had.  It was only $200 but it was all the free cash available.  Not quite understanding the saying yet, I invested that money in 50 shares of a company that were priced at $3.25 each.  Those 50 shares cost me $162.50 plus a commission of $25 dollars for a total of $187.50.

I was pretty proud of myself for making my first step to a fortune in the stock market.  It wasn’t until I started doing some calculating that I realized since it was going to cost me another $25 commission to sell the stock, it would have to rise in price by about 30% for me to break even!  Being a little naive about the stock market, I figured that 30% shouldn’t be too difficult for my llittle stock to manage.

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Several years later, when I had managed to save up a little more money, I got back into the stock market with a purchase of some higher quality stock at $20 per share.  That stock moved up to $25 per share and I made a little money.  The point is that with the larger cash balance I started with I could buy a higher quality stock with a better chance of realizing a positive return. 

More money + higher quality stock = better chance of a positive return

So last Friday, my kids had their first day of summer vacation!  Now the fun begins with all three of them home and looking to me for entertainment.  Luckily, I only had them for the one day before Saturday when my wife was available to help me keep them busy. 

One thing that I’ve learned since starting to look after them is that consistency and routine will be my best friends.  They thrive on knowing what is happening next and once I was able to get that pattern figured out, when it was just my youngest all day and my son for half days, things went much smoother.  Now that all three are home all day the routine becomes all that much more important.  I’m hoping to be a bit of a teacher for my son too since he’s having a bit of trouble with the alphabet.  I’d like to teach him a bit so that he at least knows his ABCs and can count to 20.

It’s funny how his older sister had a bit of trouble with the alphabet around the ‘LMNOP’ section and how Eli is also struggling there too.  I guess that particular section is a bit of a tongue twister for both of them; I look forward to seeing how their younger sister handles it when she’s a bit older.
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On another topic, with the economy being what it is and since I’ve been doing a little work in my stock portfolio, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve evolved as an investor and how the old saying about having money to make money is so true.  I think that’s the topic of my next post….just need to let it stew a bit while I try to get my daughter down for a nap and help my son with ‘LMNOP’!!

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 For the last two years or so my wife and I have been supporters of Kiva which is a microfinance organization providing loans to small businesses in countries where loans are usually very difficult to get.  The people who take out the loans are predominately women and they are requesting loans in the neighbourhood of $1,000 to grow their businesses either through purchasing more inventory, buying seeds to grow produce, or expanding their small home-based businesses.

I generally provide $25 towards the amount that a given person is looking for and that allows me to spread my loans over several different businesses.  I don’t expect to grow the investment that I’ve put into the microfinance organization because I consider it to be charitable giving and what happens is the loanee returns the money to me (and the other people who have invested money) in installments.  As the other people I’ve loaned to return the money also, I wait until I have a minimum of $25 in my account and then I loan that $25 out to another person.

At any given time I’ve got three or four people paying me back.  I don’t receive interest or shares in their company but I get the satisfaction of watching my small $25 loan go directly to the person I chose in the Kiva site and then read the updates of how the money has helped them to build their business and support their family.  I feel better about giving this way then to simply supply money to an organization and have no idea who it went to or what they used it for.
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I don’t have a huge investment in Kiva, perhaps $100 or $125 dollars altogether but that money has been recycled through several small businesses and I have a great feeling of helping someone out.  If you have a bit of spare cash, $25 is the minimum I believe, then I suggest loaning it to someone who can use that money to build a better life for themselves and their family.

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A couple of weekends ago I had the opportunity to have a glass of wine and a Samosa with Bobby Kris of Bobby Kris and the Imperials.   They were one of the most popular bands in the Toronto music scene in the mid-60’s releasing a cover of the Burt Bacharach song “Walk On By”.  The single charted well for them and they received some very good reviews for their debut single.

They were not able to duplicate that commercial success with subsequent releases but they continued to be a popular draw in the Toronto music scene.  Eventually, the band members went their separate ways and Bobby found a new career as a teacher.  For the last several years he has been the owner of a small store in Southern Ontario specializing in organic foods. 

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